WOOSHHHH
by i x3 MCR
Summary: Rated R for: Strong language, drug references, unmentionable mentionings. What happens when you take three rock stars and drop them im the midde of a quidditch game? Features, Billie Joe of Green Day, and Billy and Joel of Good Charlotte.


One bright sunny Sunday morning Good Charlotte guitarist Billy Martin, and Green Day guitarist and singer Billie Joe Armstrong, were sitting on the couch at Billy's DC house watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Billy asked Billie Joe if he thought the "Harry Pothead" world was really real.

"I don't know? My sons Joey and Jakob watch the movies all the time and act like the world is real. I dunno?" Billie Joe explained to Billy.

"I watch the movies and read all of the books. Who knows?"

"Okay, I know this sounds kiddie and all that shit but you wanna play Harry and I'll be Ron?"

"Sure?"

Billy and Billie Joe ran around the house for hours playing and acting like total jackasses. Then a few hours into the game Good Charlotte lead singer, Joel Madden called to see what was going on and asks Billie Joe and Billy if they wanna o run to Starbucks to get a thing of coffee. The three went to Starbucks and came home in a hurry to watch an MTV special on Harry Potter. When they got back to the house, Billy walked over to the closet to put his jacket up and then he was gone. Billie Joe got Joel's attention and pointed to the closet.

"Dude, Billy was just there and then the closet sucked him up. It was like WOOOSHHH!" Billie Joe exclaimed waving his hands in the air in amazement.

"What the fuck is WOOOSHHH?"

"You know, WOOOSHHH!"

"I think you had a little too much coffee or did you and Billy get hella stoned this morning?"

"No man, No WOOOSHHH! WOOOSHHH!"

"I thought you stopped smoking pot a long time ago."

"Turn around mother fucker! He's GONE!" Joel turned around and sure enough Billie Joe was right Billy was _really _gone. Billie Joe walked over to the closet and closed the door.

"Dude, hold my hand" Billie Joe told Joel in fear.

"Man, I am not a fag I don't lean that way!"

"NO, hold my hand. I am gonna open the door and we are gonna find Billy!"

"Okay, you are stoned!"

"You got your cell phone?"

"Yeah, why?"

"We are gonna call Billy when we get wherever he is!"

Billie Joe opened the door and WOOOSHHH! They were going through a vortex and spinning around and around. When suddenly they fell on a HUGE field with people flying over their heads on broomsticks.

"Where the fuck are we?" Joel asked curiously.

"I think we are in Harry Potter?" Billie Joe said skeptically.

"Here is my phone. Call Billy."

Ring Ring Ring "Hello" said Billy.

"BILLY? Oh my fucking God, human life form!" Billie Joe said remarkably.

"Billie Joe?"

"Yep, it's me!"

"Where are you?"

"At this place with people on broomsticks flying all over and it's kinna freaky! Hold on!"

Billie Joe noticed a ball flying all over and tells Joel. But sadly it is too late! Joel got hit in the ahheemm manhood by the large ball. Letting out a girly scream Joel grabbed his balls to feel if they were still there.

"Oh my fucking God! Billie Joe! God! God! My manhood taken from me on a stupid grass pit!"

"Young man, how did you get here?" said a petite, stern looking woman in a black and white robe.

"Who the fuck are you? My balls hurt! Are they still there?" said Joel in tragedy.

"My name is Madam Hooch. I am the quidditch referee here at Hogwarts., and what is _he_ going on about?" Madam Hooch asked, motioning to where Joel was currently squirming on the ground, clutching his crotch.

"My jewels!" Joel whimpered.

"Oh my God! Billy there is this lady and she looks like the quidditch lady person thingee in the Harry Potter movies!" Billie Joe told Billy over the cell phone.

"I am in this big mansion thing! It's friggin' awesome!"

"We need to get him up to the hospital wing immediately!" said Madam Hooch.

"Billy, meet me and Mister no jewel at the hospital wing... if you even know where that is!" said Billie Joe.

"I'll ask around."

Madam Hooch, Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, and Hagrid took Joel to the hospital wing in as big as a rush as ever. Followed by Billie Joe, they put Joel into a bed.

Billy was running through the halls when he ran into a teenage boy with messy black hair.

"Oh my God! I am so sorry I am looking for my friend. He just lost his um... jewels. Have you seen him?" said Billy absent-mindedly.

"He lost his what?" said the teen.

"His jewels! You know!"

"No sorry I don't speak madman!"

"No his jewels! J-E-W-E-L-S! Y..o...u und..der...stand... en...g..lish?"

"What are you saying?"

"Okay he was on this grass pit thing-a-magiggee and got hit in the balls by a ball!"

"Oh, that guy. He got hit with a bludger."

"Yeah, him! Where is he at?"

"Follow me! Oh, by the way my name is Harry, Harry Potter."

"HARRY POTTER?"

"Yeah, SO? And you are?"

"Harry Potter!"

"Okay, _Harry_ pleasure to meet you."

"No, my name is Billy."

"Follow me!"

Billy and Harry ran through the halls looking for the hospital wing. On their way they ran into Ron and Hermione.

"Harry, where have you been?" asked Hermione,

"Billy this is Ron and this is Hermione." said harry introducing Ron and Hermione to Billy.

"Hermione! Ron! Oh my God!" Billy cried.

Ron and Hermione glanced nervously at each other then again at Harry.

"It's okay guys, I don't _think _he's any danger, just mental." Ron and Hermione didn't seem to comforted by this.

Joel was lying in the hospital bed in agony, while Professor Dumbledore pulled Billie Joe aside to have a little chat.

"Might I ask whom you are?" Professor Dumbledore asked Billie Joe.

"My name is Billie Joe Armstrong and that is my friend Joel Madden," replied Billie Joe pointing his finger at Joel. "We got lost. I don't know how we got there we were at Starbucks and we went home and we went to the closet and my friend was gone. I just! I didn't know what to do! I panicked! He just disappeared through the closet!"

" Mister Armstrong, perhaps we should discuss this further in my office."

Billie Joe and professor Dumbledore walked through the hall and came to an eagle looking sculpture in the wall.

"Cauldron Cakes!" Professor Dumbledore said abruptly

"What the fuck are _cauldron cakes_?" asked Billie Joe curiously shrugging his shoulders.

"A wizarding sweet, and judging by your reaction on the quidditch pitch I assume you are a muggle."

"Yeah, how does that hurt you in any way?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing, is Joel gonna be alright? Ya'll know what I am talkin' 'bout!"

"Rest assured Mister Madden is going to be alright, Madam Pomfrey is one of the best medi-witches in the wizarding world."

"Blah?"

"Excuse me."

"Nothing, I have those dumb-fuck tendencies like everyone."

"Dumb what?"

"Nothing, I didn't say anything!"

Billie Joe and Professor Dumbledore sat at Professor Dumbledore's desk. When a minute of silence had passed, they heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." responded Professor Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore, I have someone who is here to see you, he says his name is Billy Martin." said Professor Mcgonagall.

"Have him come in please."

"Whats up Professor Dumbledore, Billie Joe?" said Billy in confusion.

"Oh my God. I missed you!" said Billie Joe running over to Billy and approaching him with a BIG hug.

"How is Joel?"

"He is going to be alright. Just some slight recovery and things will improve." Professor Dumbledore exclaimed to Billy.

"Slight recovery, the man almost lost his world!" Billie Joe raged.

"You can follow me if you would like over to the hospital wing and you can see him." Professor McGonagall told Billie Joe and Billy.

"Okay" they agreed.

AN: This is my first fic and if you want to find out what happens next, then I suggest you review. I don't like flames and if I get any I won't continue. This story has no purpose, just pure fluff. And another thing this fic takes place during Harry's 7th year. So if you like it tell me, if you don't like it tell me but be nice about it or my beta will be **_very_** angry.


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